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The God loves me
Nikolay Rudak
I was born in Karaganda, Kazakh SSR. Our family never talked about God, but Easter we have to be celebrated always. Every year we have painted eggs and Easter cakes are bought. It was a tradition. We went to the cemetery on parents’ Sunday. I was baptized in the Orthodox Church when I was a kid. I didn’t understand what it was and why I did it, well, if I must, I must.
After school graduation, I went to study in Novosibirsk. I got into NETI (now NSTU) and after one year, I was drafted into the army. I served in the Amur region. After military service returned to Novosibirsk, continued education at the institute.
At that time there was a lot of literature on secret knowledge was appeared.
We, together with my friend, decided to enlighten of misguided people and to explain that the Bible – this is the past. That is how I met Andrey Melnikov, who was a deacon in the Church at those days. Our group was small, six people went all the time. We attacked him, arguing that the Bible distorted historical evidences. Andrey was listening to us patiently, advising us to be careful and check thoroughly the data we have, helping us to develop critical thinking. We were reading all books he provide us.
The first time I was invited to the meeting, at the house of prayer on Serafimovich 57 by a Lutheran Vsevolod Lytkin. After the meeting, came back and told my friend that we should go together and see, that we have nothing to do there. We are enlightened people. So we went to see this. Then we expressed our opinion to Andrey. He listened to us, didn’t argue, and offered to continue for the study of Bible. We argued a lot and thought. Especially about the Christ. I could not understand why I have to worship Him. I understood that my life was not a role model, but I thought I live as normal. Like everyone else: drinking, but “Who doesn’t drink?”, lying, but not too much. I was like the others. I can’t live by the rules of the Sermon on the Mount. I can’t. I knew there was a God, but I couldn’t understand how to get closer to Him. Andrey gave me the book “Not Just a Carpenter” by J. McDowell. While reading this book, I understood how God resolved the issue of His Holiness and love for people. To His children. God paid His life for my sin, and disbelief. Together with my friend, we traveled to many Churches: we went to an Orthodox church, talked to priests, met with Pentecostals, Charismatics, Lutherans, etc., I can’t remember all of them. At the time I was looking for a Church that corresponds to what I read in the New Testament. I have chosen the Church (EXБ) and I made a conscious choice. From my point of view, it was the Church that preserved the principles that were in the New Testament Church.
I came to the meeting in order to go out to cathedra when will invitation for repentance. And for the first time ever there was no invitation during the meeting. I was confused.
After the meeting I went up to Andre and asked: “Why wasn’t there repentance invitation?”
He asked me, “Do you want to repent?”
I answered, “yes.”
Ivan Gamayunov said aloud: “The soul wants to repent!”
Everything around me was frozen…
I got down on my knees, nothing remember what I talked about, it was confusing, but at that moment I felt light. Then someone prayed near me…
I can’t say that all my life is changed immediately.
ТGod was taking and guided me.
If I had problems, I asked Him for an answer and waited for Sunday. On Sunday during the first, sometimes the second sermon I get a clear answer on what to do and how to act. I was really enjoying it. This continued for almost six months. During that time I studied not so much the Bible independently – God gave me the answers without any effort on my part. But once I didn’t get an answer to my question. I went to Andrey to find out why it happened. He said it was time for me to grow up and study the Bible and get answers myself.
In Novosibirsk, were created the training of “Preparation of Leaders in Church”.
I was invited to complete the training.
At first, it was difficult: we were required to do assignments, learn verses, fill of exercise books correctly, keep a Bible-reading diary, and be consistent in prayers. We were taught how to work on our character. We were required to dedicate ourselves and trust to God. We met once every two weeks. We had to come to class prepared. It was very interesting to see how what I perceived as hard work eventually became taken for granted. I became interested in reading the Bible and wanted to get to know God and His character.
My life changed after repentance. I never felt alone or abandoned. When I had a hard time, I saw how God helps me to walk my path. He never left me. Even when I was running away from him like a little child, he was patiently and waiting when I will stop being naughty. When I remember this, I feel not only ashamed but also glad that God loves me and will never leave me!
